I got that same weird back pain last night that I wrote about on May 11th. It wasn't nearly as severe but it woke me up sometime between four and five in the morning. I considered taking a Tylenol but decided to tough it out. When Jamie left at almost eight this morning it was still there, so I got up and took a Tylenol and decided to see what was going on, and now I am wide awake. At least I am getting really good at four hours of sleep.
My skin feels really stretched now. I have trouble standing up properly because I want my skin to be not so stretched. It's weird, growing a person. Everyone talks about how cool it is and how special but no one warns you about the weird feelings, like when your baby has the hiccups and all you can do to help him is take a bit of a walk around the house. Or when your baby kicks so hard you actually see your belly moving. It freaks me out, in a good way of course.
It's easy to be responsible for him while he's in there, being all cute and quiet and black & white on the sonogram pictures. I'm really scared to meet him when he's screaming and pink, expecting me to know what to do. I don't even know how to hold him properly. I am ill prepared. I am having anxiety! But I know I can do this. I'm not the first person to become a mommy and I won't be the last. I think I will make a good mommy if I can get past the first few uncertain weeks.
4:30 am - June 5, 2008
Recent entries:
40 Weeks and 6 Days - August 7, 2008
Gettin' exercise - July 27, 2008
Getting ready/scared - July 24, 2008
Making choices - July 20, 2008
Nobody likes you - July 18, 2008
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